Have I ever told you guys that I work at the spider factory? You’ve never heard of such a thing, you ask? Well, it’s an office building with about twenty-three
employees where the day-to-day operations of a business are run. It’s a very nice place, but lurking deep inside the rafters and the walls are some unwanted, non-rent-paying squatters. Well, ok, it’s really not the spider factory…BUT when spiders the size of silver dollars keep popping up everywhere, you kind of start wondering if there is some sort of spider mill being used as a side business.
Unfortunately for me, I am terrified of spiders so the last several weeks at work have been daunting, to say the least. Since we’ve been in our current building,we have had them, but mostly the smaller ones. Smaller ones I can deal with…sort of…ok, eww! But the mamas and the papas are definitely not on my list of fondness.
There has to be some major nest or something because this is the worst I have ever seen them. Approximately ten to fifteen of these unwelcome slackers show up throughout the work day. One even had the nerve to crawl on a fellow coworker’s toe. Considering how frightened she is of them, she actually handled the incident very well. I’m sure I would have been in hysterics and would have had to leave for the rest of the day, taking a temporary leave of insanity! I have the chills right now just thinking about it!
Fortunately for us, we have a superhero who swoops in and saves the day. I call him…duh, duh, duh, dummm…The Spider Whisperer. No, he doesn’t actually whisper to the creepy crawlies but anytime there is a bug to be dealt with, he is at our beck and call…tissue in hand, ready to squish at a moment’s notice. No bug is too big or too small. He takes care of the job that we frightened scaredy cats are unable to handle.
I can’t begin to count the number of times he’s saved me from being paralyzed with fear in my office, trapped because a monster spider was on the wall next to the door and I couldn’t get out. He even saved the coworker from the spider with the toe fetish! It was amazing and heroic!!
They sprayed our offices when we all left this past Friday. I’m hoping for the best when I return. An office building free of those squatters so that we all can go back to the way things used to be. A place where only stink bugs, ants and flies are welcome because that’s all we scaredy cats can handle…sort of…ok, double eww!!