Give Me Cream and Sugar, Baby…Hold The Coffee


Back in the day when I was a little girl, my grandmother turned her john blaze (that’s hot if you didn’t know) coffee into ice coffee.  She had a special tall glass that she always used and she would sugar and cream it up to her liking. While my grandmother went about her daily chores, she would leave the tall glass of deliciousness on the kitchen counter where it would be open game.  Yes, you guessed it! I would take secret sips of it when no one was looking and thought of it as my “special” treat.

When I grew up, surprisingly I didn’t become a coffee drinker.  Soda and sweet ice tea were my libations. But then I became pregnant with my second child five years ago and suddenly I started to fantasize about that damned ice coffee my grandmother made. So one day I hopped into the Starbucks, ordered decaf and asked them to put it on ice. You would have thought I had five heads.  The girl at the counter asked me to repeat my order and then asked another worker how to ring “that” up.  It was the morning rush hour and all the regulars who could spew venti this and grande that without even perusing the menu were witness to my stumble.  Or at least, I was made to believe I had made a faux pas by uttering the word ice with decaf.

That was five years ago and since then ice coffee has become all the rage.  Every place that touts coffee has it on the menu now.

Of course, I have kept the craving long after my daughter was born, but I only drink it a few times a week.  My favorite is or was Mickey D’s when it’s made correctly.  I usually ask for extra cream and sugar, but that means different things to different locations.  The one near work made it perfectly without even asking me how many extra I wanted and I didn’t get charged extra for the “extra” either.  The two locations by my home would ask me “how many extra of each” and I had no clue.  How am I supposed to know how many EXTRA if I don’t taste test it first?  So by trial and error, I finally figured it out. Unfortunately, those locations charge EXTRA for the EXTRA.  They’re franchised.  What can you do?

Today I got my fourth imperfect cup of ice coffee over the last few weeks from the good location by my workplace.  The same people work there but suddenly the word EXTRA means different things.  One day there was too much cream. Then the next time there wasn’t enough sugar. It seems to be the same staff so I’m not sure what has happened.

My husband thinks that I’m not a real coffee drinker anyway.  I’m a poser in his eyes because I only drink iced and I require too much sugar and cream, leaving no real coffee in the cup. Even so, all I’m asking for is consistency.  It’s McDonald’s for god sakes.  If the Big Mac is made the same at every location in the U.S., shouldn’t the coffee have the same agenda?

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Categories: ~Random Madness~ | Tags: , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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